Diploma in Lion Taming
The Blackford Centre for Lion Taming
Become a lion tamer for pleasure and profit
Your friends will be impressed when you tell them you've become a lion tamer. No more boring 9 to 5 routine for you. Every day will be adventure filled.
In this distance learning course, The Diploma in Lion Taming, we answer all the questions you've been mulling over, such as:
- How much do lions cost?
- Where are the best lions to be found?
- How do I transport my lion if I drive a small car such as a Mini?
Are lions hard to tame? Contrary to popular opinion, lions are easy to tame, once they're used to you. That's why we recommend you spend at least four hours a day alone with them in their cage.
Are lion tamers in big demand? Yes, because nothing beats the excitement of seeing the tamer face to face with a lion, armed with nothing more than a stool and a sparkly jacket.
And many of the previous lion tamers are no longer offering their services, for one reason or another.
Is it dangerous? Well, crossing the road is dangerous, and most people survive. And so it is with lion taming. But to be on the safe side, we provide a free first aid kit, containing plasters and bandages. And we recommend you keep the phone number of your local ambulance service handy.
Will my tutor be on hand to help me practise? Yes, your tutor will be available at the end of a phone line.
Armed with the knowledge this home study course will give you, you'll be able to confidently step into the ring, crack your whip, and get your lion to perform amazing tricks.
You'll learn invaluable skills, such as psychological mind control. And how to run faster than your lion.
Lions actually enjoy jumping through hoops and balancing on one leg. Out in the veld, they get bored chasing hyena and sleeping under the stars. What would they give for three square meals a day and a soft straw bed! Plus they get to entertain humans twice a day.
So if the thought of becoming a lion tamer sounds attractive, enrol today. Set out on this exciting new career and you won't look back (NB Never turn your back on a lion)
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